Review – Collier Park 6.7.13

Yet another stunning “winter” day greeted players to Collier Park GC, this week a field of 7 took on the Pines & Island 9’s

On the stoke of 12noon with the warm-ups completed and the groups sorted we once again ‘teed them high to watch them fly’

After getting his first ‘pass-out’ of the year from his missus (or was it because he only lives around the corner from Collier Park?) Our newest member Clint Moore joined Smith, Stuey and Mitre in group 1. With the aforementioned trio pulling their tee shots left, Clint teed it up (slightly forward) but after a brief warning from the course marshall, replaced his tee behind the markers and proceeded to unleash one of the best debut tee shots WAGGL has seen…had we found ourselves another bandit?

Due to Group 2 only consisting of 3 players – Clinnyboy, Desilva and Troya, the Collier Park match-making department introduced our first international player,”Hundred Dollar” Bill “Ya’ll” Grimsley.

The latest addition to the WAGGL prize pool – ‘The Beer Hole’ – a CTP on the first par 3 of the round, has proven to be a god send for Stuey, being the only winner since it’s inception a fortnight ago, yet he was unable to capitalise with a par after parking it on the dancefloor, at least he was able to stroll the remainder of the round safe in the knowledge a free alcoholic beverage awaited his liver at the 19th hole

Group 1’s first taste of a par had to wait until the par 4 4th, with Stuey’s bomb of a drive leaving him only 80m from the flag and a realistic chance at a birdie, alas, it was not to be, with his putt finishing just right of the cup leaving an easy tap in for par. Mitre took the long way home, with his tee shot staying left, but a lovely second shot from the light rough found the green and a 2-putt gave him his first par for the day. Smith’s first par had ‘scramble’ written all over it, with a chip out of the rough which parked cruelly behind a tree, then somehow managing to shape a 60m chip around said tree and then bin the putt from 3m. A wayward approach shot into the green proved costly for Clint but would have been happy in the end with the bogey.

Highlights for the remainder of the front 9 for group 1 included, pars for Stuey & Mitre on the par 4 6th , a sweetly struck 4 iron from Mitre on the 186m CTP 7th hole which put him in contention for the cash, and two birdies, with Smith taming the par 5 8th and Mitre rounding out a solid front 9 with bird – outward totals Mitre 42, Smith 44, Stuey 50, Clint 50

Group 2 also had an indifferent early few holes, until Clint registered a par on the par 3 3rd. The indifference continued for Group 2 as pars were of a minimum until Troya’s par 5 at the 5th.  This started a mini par blitz, with Clint parring the par 4 6th and also the long 186m par 3 CTP 7th along with DeSilva. Highlights, DeSilva’s Baden Choppy impersonation 2nd shot and Clint with a sweetly hit 3W taking a fortunate hard left bounce off the greenside mound and landing within a few metres of the flag to take the CTP cash from the self proclaimed “unluckiest player in WAGGL” (and golf for that matter) Mitre.

Clinnyboy finds the dancefloor (photo courtesy of Rooters)

Only two more pars returned for Group 2 on the front 9, both on the par 4 9th with a slick 1 putt from a consistent DeSilva, and an opportunity missed birdie from Troya after rimming for the 4th time after a great recovery 4 iron chip and run from against a tree from 140m – outward totals Troya and Clint 47, DeSilva a very credible 49 and Bill debuting with “his worst 9 in about 10 years” 58.  With the news of Bill’s miscalculation of a 59 becoming a 58 along with some “swing oil” (a couple of cold Peronis), Bill’s WAGGL debut experience could only improve from here.

Mediocrity prevailed early for Group 1 on the back 9. Mitre continued to seemingly hold his position at the top of the leaderboard, registering back to back pars on holes 11 & 12, then Clint caught fire like a cheap mattress, reeling off a hat-trick of pars through holes 12, 13 & 14! But high5’s were quickly replaced with high scores for Clint, with two 10’s and a double bogey to round out his WAGGL debut.

Group 2’s inward 9 started with a boom with all 4 drives long and down the middle. Bill’s “swing oil” working an immediate treat. Par 4’s followed for Troya with another birdie rim job after a close approach from just over 100m and Bill’s great up and down from a few metres for a memorable 1st WAGGL par and a also a memorable note of advisory to the viewing ducks that, “Where I’m from in Louisiana you fu**ers would be dinner!”

The 11th hole saw Group 2’s first elimination of the Spirit of WAGGL Award (SoWA) with DeSilva ‘s 5 iron flying a measley 25m, out doing his tee shot by 5m.  With the verbal to the local fauna on the 10th, Bill puts himself in contention for the SoWA for donating his 2nd shot on the 12th to the fauna’s watery home.

With the pressure off contending for the SoWA, DeSilva decided to turn the screws in his knee and on the competition with a turkey of pars at the par 4 12th, with a delicate chip for a tap in, par 3 13th and par 5 14th with an absolute drop donker 1 putt from at shortest 25m! (any higher bidders?)  This caused wild celebrations and the familiar infamous chants of “YOU CARRNT LOSE!”

With Troya and Clint falling out of contention, attention turned to Bill’s WAGGL nickname. “Hundred Dollar”?, “Kill”? and after Bill’s monster drive on  15 “Clinton” looked to be the favorite as he looked to have had “sexual relations” with that ball, as it was PUMPED!  After deliberation with the accused it was advised to “don’t go there guys”, so it was decided, in the interests of Australia – USA diplomacy this nickname would be ‘laid’ to rest.

Moving onto the last Clint contends for LD and follows with screams of joy when he reaches his ball, then only to realise that he had only beaten a twig stuck in the fairway, as there was another twig stuck in the fairway further up, holding a card with Smudge’s name on it.  Giving up the LD comp for accuracy DeSilva plays his consistent shorter drive down the fairway. His 2nd shot lands short within 100m of the green, but with an up and down (his bread and butter throughout the round) can take his first WAGGL win. A couple of “Hillary” duffed chips cruelly starves him of that honour, but even more cruelly as due to Troya’s bung styed left eye miscalculated that he had tied for the W, when he had actually taken the mantle of “unluckiest player in WAGGL” from the artist formally known as WAGGL’s unluckiest player.

Prize Winners

Lowest off Stick – Mitre 88
Handicap – Mitre 75
CTP – Clinnyboy
LD – Smith
Beer Hole – Stuey

About wagglsmith

drives for show...putts for dough

Posted on July 7, 2013, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. Great effort with the write up, continue ur great work haha!!!

  2. LOL… “i had sexal relations with that ball!” 🙂 gr8 write up! who’d have thought rooters would be on deck to snap the CTP!? 🙂

  3. Feel free to add any of your highlights/lowlights/banter in the comments

  4. clintmoore13

    Yeah nice write up. It was great to finally make a WAGGL event. The first of many. Just have to come up with a nickname for me????? All suggestions considered. Thanks again guys had a great day.

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